Well, I am officially alone in a city where I don't really know anyone. Husband is in Indianapolis for work until Wednesday night. Friends, who have been here since last Wednesday are in San Diego for the final leg of their road trip down the coast left at the same time as husband. It's totally embarrassing to admit but I cried when they all left (obviously not in front of anyone, except the cat.)
It is just me, Joan and Little Kick for the next few days. It's weird. It's weird for a ton of reasons, but mostly because I seem to have completely tricked myself in some strange way. My husband has always travelled a lot for work. I've rarely been able to go with him due to work (and because honestly, it's his thing, not mine) so I've often been home alone. I was talking to a friend and mentioned how much I used to enjoy being home alone. The more I thought on this, though, the more I realised it was utter bollocks. I have NEVER enjoyed being at home whilst he's been away. I always felt full of self pity, lamenting that if I died no one would notice and I might get eaten by Alsatians. I ate only junk food, spent too long on the internet and generally was a wallowing mess of self pity. I never enjoyed it. That is a straight-up lie.
This time, I feel a bit more vulnerable than usual. Being pregnant adds a certain degree of panic, I think. Add to that the fact I got impressively sunburnt at the beach yesterday (my first time being burnt across the board, rather than the odd little patch. *sigh*) so I am hot and uncomfortable. That being said, I am definitely dealing with it better than husband, who has been gone 6 hours and has called 3 times (this might be airport boredom though...)
Ah well, it's not like I have nothing to do. I definitely need to do some cleaning and tidying- four people in a one bedroom apartment for 4 days leads to CHAOS. I also want to do some internet shopping (sorry husband...) and I have baby blankets to sew and baseball games to watch and 3 extra volunteering shifts to do. Time will fly before I know it. I have my girls to keep me company, and really, I can list 3 or 4 people I can call if there is some sort of emergency that I need some support for. Woe is not really me, I just need to get off the sofa!
Wait. Isn't "Alastian" just a British word for "German Shepherd??" Monte would never, ever eat you!!!
ReplyDeleteYou know, I like when B leaves town for a bit. He's going to be gone this Wed and Thurs night so I'm just going to relax and veg out. But, I totally understand your mood. I've been really moody and grouchy and emotional lately. It sucks.
For future reference, if you are ever alone and in danger of being eaten by "Alastians" or have a pregnancy-related-disaster or just need support, call me!
Ha, yes, that is a German Shepherd! It's a line from Bridget Jones' Diary.
DeleteI just read that 'emotions' are meant to be calmed down. This is NOT true for me. Yet again, those 'What to expect' bastards are lying.
Are you in my head?!
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly how I feel when my husband (also in academia) goes off to conferences. I enjoy the first day - where I make grand plans, stuff my face with all the food that he hates and catch up on some crappy TV. And then it gets boring and lonely.
I am lucky though that I am surrounded by friends, albeit ones who like to tell me things like "it'll fly by" and "make the most of the time to yourself". Or friends who will only make plans midweek, when all I want to do is lie on the sofa and go to bed early. It's the weekends that are really tough - those are OUR time and I'm not used to filling them with other people.
So, you have my sympathy. It's not easy and few people really understand. I always think that the people who tell you to enjoy that time are clearly never in this situation.
ah yes!! It's so much harder than you think it will be. I'm surprised EVERY damn time as well, it's insane. I wouldn't mind if it wasn't so often.
DeleteCompletely agree about the weekends too. Just seems so unfair that his work is stealing MY weekend too!
M doesn't travel often with work but does travel often and it sucks. I am an introvert and like some time alone but I really do miss him so much. The last two times he went I watched Gaelic wedding shows and cried but was secretly crying because he was not there. Ah well.
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